Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Remember when you were young and into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other things quasi-martial arts/ninja related, and you would draw yin-yangs randomly on things or wear them on necklaces just because you thought it looked cool? Well, I mean, at least that’s what the guys I knew and I did when we were kids.

The idea of two opposite forces in harmonious balance is an interesting one. I do not claim to know about Eastern philosophy (or any philosophy, for that matter) or what certain symbols/ideas exactly represent, but I do appreciate the idea of balance.

One thing that people have asked me is, “Why you? Of all people, why you?”

I have never dwelled on thoughts questioning, “Why me?” I have always believed that things happen for a reason. At times, it is beyond our feeble minds to grasp how this is possible. To me, this is related to the butterfly effect, where one small change results in significant differences at a later state.

Anyways, back to the idea of balance—

People are confused/amazed when I tell them that I was not alone in the vehicle at the time of my accident. In fact, I was in the passenger seat of our SUV with both my parents and both of my younger sisters in the car. The end result was that I was the only one who sustained significant injuries. I am the only one who continues to feel the effects.

But in the end, I would not have it any other way. By that I mean that I would prefer putting up with the injuries that I have than witnessing another family member, or other family members, deal with these injuries. I would rather have this happen to me than any of my friends. In fact—and I have said this since the beginning as I lay in my hospital bed—I would not wish the things I’ve been through on anyone, not even my worst enemy (if I had a worst enemy).

How can we know joy without experiencing pain? How can we feel true happiness without feeling true sadness?

If this had not happened to me, would it have happened to someone else and would that person be dealing with it daily, instead of me?

I honestly hope not.

I have not been posting as much lately because I am continuing to refine the way my brain and body work, and these days, I am in a state of peace.

In line with the ideas mentioned above (everything happens for a reason, the butterfly effect, etc.) I feel like everything I have been through since I was young and everyone I have ever met have prepared me to deal with my situations.

We all have our set of experiences and we all have our own set of obstacles to overcome. Some of us have it better; some of us have it worse. But who we are will allow us to handle them. That’s why we are dealt our hand. Do not pity the ones who have it hard; pity the ones who have it easy, for they lack mental fortitude and are unable to show a full understanding and appreciation of things.


  1. "Do not pity the ones who have it hard; pity the ones who have it easy" so true. The harder you have it...the more reward you will get in the hereafter iA. And the easier you have it, the less grateful you are and the less appreciative of all the good things in your life. But with that being said, don't ever consider yourself as someone that's "unfortunate" in any way. Nothing about u is unfortunate. You're surrounded by people that love have a great're smart...determined...and one of the strongest and most positive people I know. And I guess you're not all that bad lookin' either :P. From day 1 of knowing you...I've never felt pity when I look at you; only admiration. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in feeling that way.

  2. always a pleasure to read your thoughts, Hamanatee. you never cease to inspire and humble us.


  3. I am so touched by this post. It gave me glimpses of the peace and contentment you are gaining everyday as you struggle through the personal test Allah gave you. I hope we can all benefit from our tests in the same way you have. You really are a role model for so many people, more than you probably know.

  4. This reminds me of the time I emailed you several questions. I wondered if you ever thought, "why me?" But you never really questioned the way you ended up. Kudos to you for that! It's not often a person avoids the shoulda-coulda-woulda's and easily accepts a certain stage they are in. You're absolutely right in the sense that we can't truly find joy without feeling pain, nor can we find true happiness without ever feeling sad. I like how you think selflessly, warm-heartedly, and I love your grateful outlook on life. You're always optimistic and although many would feel anger if they were in your shoes, you're able to live life with peace in your heart. I hope Allah grants you every happiness in this life and the Hereafter, insha'Allah. Stay awesome Hammander!

  5. You are a role model !!