Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Remember when you were young and into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other things quasi-martial arts/ninja related, and you would draw yin-yangs randomly on things or wear them on necklaces just because you thought it looked cool? Well, I mean, at least that’s what the guys I knew and I did when we were kids.

The idea of two opposite forces in harmonious balance is an interesting one. I do not claim to know about Eastern philosophy (or any philosophy, for that matter) or what certain symbols/ideas exactly represent, but I do appreciate the idea of balance.

One thing that people have asked me is, “Why you? Of all people, why you?”

I have never dwelled on thoughts questioning, “Why me?” I have always believed that things happen for a reason. At times, it is beyond our feeble minds to grasp how this is possible. To me, this is related to the butterfly effect, where one small change results in significant differences at a later state.

Anyways, back to the idea of balance—

People are confused/amazed when I tell them that I was not alone in the vehicle at the time of my accident. In fact, I was in the passenger seat of our SUV with both my parents and both of my younger sisters in the car. The end result was that I was the only one who sustained significant injuries. I am the only one who continues to feel the effects.

But in the end, I would not have it any other way. By that I mean that I would prefer putting up with the injuries that I have than witnessing another family member, or other family members, deal with these injuries. I would rather have this happen to me than any of my friends. In fact—and I have said this since the beginning as I lay in my hospital bed—I would not wish the things I’ve been through on anyone, not even my worst enemy (if I had a worst enemy).

How can we know joy without experiencing pain? How can we feel true happiness without feeling true sadness?

If this had not happened to me, would it have happened to someone else and would that person be dealing with it daily, instead of me?

I honestly hope not.

I have not been posting as much lately because I am continuing to refine the way my brain and body work, and these days, I am in a state of peace.

In line with the ideas mentioned above (everything happens for a reason, the butterfly effect, etc.) I feel like everything I have been through since I was young and everyone I have ever met have prepared me to deal with my situations.

We all have our set of experiences and we all have our own set of obstacles to overcome. Some of us have it better; some of us have it worse. But who we are will allow us to handle them. That’s why we are dealt our hand. Do not pity the ones who have it hard; pity the ones who have it easy, for they lack mental fortitude and are unable to show a full understanding and appreciation of things.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Random appreciation

One thing that means a lot to me that people don't realize is when they ride in the elevator with me when everyone else is taking the stairs. It gets lonely in there and I always wish I could join everyone in using the stairwell instead of the elevator. So it's good to have someone who chooses not to join the rest of the group and leave me by myself--even if it's just out of laziness from not wanting to use the stairs. Stupid, I know, but it's true. Thank you, friends and classmates.