For my beloved readers

I haven’t written anything in quite some time, so in usual fashion, I will first provide an update on my life.

My third year of medical school is winding down now. I am currently on my very last clinical rotation of the year—surgery. After this, I will officially be in my last year of medical school. It surprises me how fast time flies. I started this blog just a few short months before I started medical school.  That was over three years ago.

I was speaking to a faculty member the other day and the topic of my blog came up. I also recently saw that this blog has hit over 50,000 views (about 52,000 now to be exact) from people all over the world. So, with that, I’ll answer some questions that people have asked me and that you may also be thinking:

How did you start this blog?

This blog all started about seven months after my accident in May of 2009 and just a few months before I started medical school in August 2010. A friend of mine was going to start a web site and he asked me if I wanted to be a writer for it. “Ugh. I’m a horrible writer. But I’m not doing anything right now at home before I start school. So I might as well do it. It’ll help stimulate my brain and get me to think and write so I can be better ready for med school. I’m not sure what kind of stuff I will write about, though, or if anyone will even read it,” I thought to myself and said to my friend. That’s when I wrote my first blog post, “My 7 month anniversary”. I had a friend from another state review it and help me edit it. I knew my writing was horrible. The web site for which I wrote that post never really took off, so I ended up deciding that I would start my own blog and use it to write about random thoughts that came to me. My first entry was something I quickly typed up late one night, “Jeans…say what?”

Why do you keep writing?

After almost every blog post, I think to myself, “I’m all out of things to write about. That was my last post.” But I somehow find something else about which to write. After I posted that very first post on my blog, I got positive feedback from some friends. They wanted me to keep writing and they wanted me to keep posting the links on Facebook so they could know when I post anything new. I was really flattered. And I kept writing.

I get so surprised when I find out people read my blog. I remember when I got so excited when I found out I could check the viewer statistics on my blog and that over one hundred people from the United States (mostly Georgia) and Canada had read it. I couldn’t believe it. Why would anyone be interested in what I had to say?

The essential question, “Why write?”

Over the years, I have heard from people that my blog has helped me in one way or another. They thank me. But in return, I thank them more. I am unable to express my gratitude to these people.

I write about personal things. I lay my heart out for the world to see. Because this is me. When people first meet me, I am aware that all they see is my wheelchair; all they see are my disabilities. So I write to show that there is more than that to me. I write to show people that we should not judge others by how they look or by their “disabilities”.

I write to show that we are all the same.

Writing has helped me develop as a person. I was talking about this with the faculty member I spoke to last week. One can go through this blog from my earliest posts to my newest ones and see just how much I have changed. Writing has made me evolve. The positive feedback and encouragement I receive from others has really allowed me to grow. I have learned so much about other people and about myself.

I just hope other people have learned as much about themselves, too.

Who reads this besides me?

Over the years, the number of viewers of this blog has grown. I remember when I hit one thousand viewers. I remember when I saw that there seemed to be more people in Canada reading this blog aside from the four people I knew there. I remember when I saw that people in Europe had come across my blog.

Now, I receive about 2,000 to 3,000 views every month. I started posting links to my new posts on Facebook so my friends could read them. It is possible that the number of viewers spread from there. When people who were not my close friends or people I haven’t talked to in many years (eg, friends from high school) tell me they read my blog, I am still surprised, flattered and humbled.

This blog has given me the privilege to from great friendships with people all over the United States and the world. In addition, this has caused me to be interviewed by various publications, including local news sources (like the Gwinnett Daily post and university magazines) and international news sources (like the magazine emel or on other web sites). I have even been asked to speak at multiple events, including TEDxGeorgiaTech. I cannot be more thankful. I hope to one day meet all of these people.

Why don’t you write a book?

This question has been asked to me many times. To be honest, I don’t think I’m that good of a writer. So I am flattered when people suggest that. I’m just a regular guy writing about the things that happen to me and that go through that my head. In addition, time is a very limiting factor.

I often think about things to write as I go about my day but I usually don’t end up writing about them. When I write, I usually just get on my laptop and type up everything at once. Often, I do not look over my posts before posting them. I rarely ever revise or edit them. This keeps everything in the raw. It makes everything come straight from my heart.

Will you keep writing?

As I said earlier in this post, I have thought since I started this blog back in 2010 that every post would be my last post. Somehow, I find more things about which to write. So as long as I have the time and as long as people still enjoy reading about this crazy guy, I will keep writing.

Just please forgive me for writing so seldom this past year or two. Medical school and medical rotations are keeping me busy. But, if everything goes as planned, I should have just a few more months and a few more exams left of the “hard stuff” and then hopefully next year should be more relaxing as I finish off medical school and finally earn my medical degree.  J

If any of you would like to do so, you may ask any more questions you have in the comments and I will do my best to reply as quickly as I can.

Once again, I would like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading. Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

My talk at MIST Atlanta, 4/13/13, "Patience In Practice"

The theme for this year's MIST (Muslim Interscholastic Tournament) was patience. MIST is a regional/national event in which high school students compete in various competitions (eg, oratory, debate, math, basketball, etc) and listen to different talks when they are not competing. University students and people in various occupations are the judges and volunteers. I was asked to speak again at this year's Atlanta event. This time, though, I thought of what to say at the last minute and made the mistake of writing everything down--in the same way I write my blog posts--instead of just speaking spontaneously. So be forewarned and please excuse my mumbling!

I recorded it because a friend asked me to do so and I am posting it here in case anyone else is curious and because I haven't written anything in a while.

Featured in a Muslim Heroes exclusive interview

Before you click this link and read the interview, I just want to say that I typed up these responses late one night and submitted them without looking them over. Therefore, I apologize for any grammatical errors or if it is written poorly. Thank you for reading, dear friends.

MH Exclusive: Hammad Aslam

Take a Seat - Make a Friend?

Here is a fun and interesting video that ties in something I mentioned in my last blog post, Flaws. It's also just something that will put a smile on your face. Enjoy!

Flaws

I haven’t written any blog posts in a while because, to be honest, I am just content.  There isn’t much that bothers me, saddens me or angers me. I haven’t been in a writing mood much lately because I find myself using any extra time outside of studying or my duties in the hospital for pleasure reading, relaxing, working out and sleeping more—things I enjoy.  The drive to/from Athens from/to Atlanta is a great one for putting the windows down and playing some music.  Various thoughts inadvertently come through my head during these long drives.

I was discussing flaws with a friend of mine some time ago and there is something about that topic that I can say with conviction:  I love flaws. 

Flaws make a person more real.  Actually, most of these “flaws” are just things that we consider different.  How are any of us to judge what is considered a flaw and what is not?  For example, is the fact that I'm in a wheelchair a flaw?

I meet and have met a lot of people.  I have spoken to them and sometimes listened to their stories.  And sometimes I am surprised; it really surprises me the way some people—a lot of people—think.

It seems like a lot of people are obsessed with trying to live a perfect life, raise perfect children, become the perfect student/professional/husband/wife and expect their plans to unfold as perfectly as possible.

But we are not perfect.  Life isn’t perfect.  Things rarely unfold as expected.

We do things that our family and friends don’t know about.  We do things other elders or religious folks would look down upon.

We make mistakes.

Sometimes, we are the mistakes.

And that’s okay.

We all have a collection of life experiences.  Sometimes when I see people striving towards being perfect to the point that they judge or look down upon others, I somewhat have pity on them.

It baffles me sometimes when I think how close-minded some people are, even by most of those who do not consider themselves close-minded at all.  I encourage everyone to try meeting new people regularly, especially those completely different from us and who “our parents told us to stay away from”.  But do not limit it to just “meeting” these people.  Almost everyone has contact with new people all the time.  People should take this one step further and learn about the person.  Learn about their experiences, their views, their “flaws”.  Listen to their stories.

In the same manner, I also somewhat have to shake my head when I speak with those who have never truly left their small circle.  They may attend college or have jobs but they still live in the same locale that they always have, they have not left their security and safety nets, they still have the same “type” of friends that they always have had and some even have lived at home with their families most of their lives.

I write to express myself.  I write to think things through.

Another big part of why I write is to show people that though I may be different, others can relate.  My experiences may be unique but so are others’.

When I meet people who have lived in a metaphorical “box”—and there are many like this—I am not very impressed, no matter how intelligent or pious they may seem to others.  Who do I admire more?  Those who have experimented, who have messed up, who know the disturbances life can bring to people, who have tried and failed—and kept going, despite all of this, and have changed their circumstances so that they are in a different place, figuratively and possibly even literally speaking.

Move out.  Move away.  Explore.

Widen your circle of compassion.  It’s okay to fall.

UGA PreMed Magazine

Woohoo! I'm on the cover of the UGA PreMed magazine, a magazine for pre-medical students at the University of Georgia. Check it out and read the article:

Those around you

I know I haven’t written anything in a while.  There’s a reason for that.  I feel like a change has come over me, especially since I spoke at the TEDx conference.  I only had a few days to prepare for the talk that I gave and as I have told many people who have asked me about it, I am not really happy with my performance.  But I must say, I opened up my heart to the crowd and left it out on that stage.  When I left the stage, I felt like something had been lifted off of me.

As I mentioned earlier, I am currently on clinical rotations.  This is much more interesting than reading books and taking tests, although I still have to do that when I’m not seeing patients.

This thing we call life is a lot simpler than people make it out to be.

An interesting thing happened when seeing a patient with chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder in the psychiatry clinic. 

“Dr. Aslam, do you have any questions for this patient?” the psychiatrist asked me.

“No, nothing in particular.  All the questions I had were answered,” I replied.

“I have a question for you, actually,” the patient said to me.  “How did you get in a wheelchair? What happened to you?”

I was surprised by this question. “I got into a car accident about three and a half years ago,” I replied.

“Oh, well, I was going to say something.  As soon as I walked in here I noticed you sitting there and thought to ask you.  See, I was in a bad car accident a few years ago.  I got plates put into my leg and had to walk with a cane for a while.  My ribs were broken and everything.  Since then I’ve just been so blah.  But seeing you makes me think, ‘Hey, if he can do it. I can do it.’  That’s very inspirational. If you can do it, then why am I always letting this bring me down?  It’s an inspiration for my depression.  I just wanted to say that.”

I was so surprised that I stuttered a thank you in reply as a bashful smile crept across my face.

That’s the first time a patient has ever said something like that to me so explicitly.

I don’t think my life is anything special.  I do what I do without noticing anything different now. Everything is a habit.  I have grown used to having to make adjustments to the point that they are no longer “adjustments”; they are simply how I do things.

I have been staying at my family’s home in my hometown these past few days since the offices I am going to are closer to here than to my apartment.  It’s always good being with family and reconnecting with friends—both best friends that I always keep in touch with and old friends that I haven’t seen in a long time.  They have been there with me since I have known them, through thick and thin.

Last night, someone very close to me said something that shook the establishment of what I had come to know as reality.

Last year, a classmate and I went to a support group for people who had suffered a stroke and their families.  My classmate and I were shocked and disappointed by the guest speaker there who was making exaggerated and even outright incorrect scientific claims regarding an expensive treatment that he said could cure the nervous system symptoms of those who had a stroke.  The people present at the support group were amazed and seemed ready to give their money for this “snake oil” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_oil).

“People in dire situations look for something—anything—that gives them hope.  I fell for snake oil myself a few times early in my situation,” I wrote on a piece of paper and showed my classmate.  He nodded in understanding.

I remember how hopeful I was in the beginning, as I discussed in this blog post.  I felt like everything would soon be okay.  Everything would be back to normal like they once were.  I would regain movement, slowly but surely, and start walking again.  All my friends would be happy for me.  Then, I would go on living like I had always thought I would live.

Some people close to me have never lost this hope.  It hurts my heart sometimes knowing that things fell short of the hopeful expectations of those around me.  This does not mean that those close to me are not proud of me.  Of course they are.  I think I just realized that without knowing when or how it happened, I have accepted things.

And that’s okay.

It just hurts me when I am let down and it hurts me even more knowing that other people have been let down.

I know as a physician, that is something that will sadden me.  When people have high expectations for themselves or for their family members or friends (for example, surviving terminal cancer), and are then let down, it can break them.  That is probably what Red from The Shawshank Redemption meant when he said, “Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.”

So what are we to do? Give up hope?

No.

That eager, poetic, child-like hope that people have early on when facing extreme struggles is what creates miracles.  Nothing happens from just lying back and taking the beating.  Hope in my situation still hasn’t given me the results for which I had hoped.  So what?  It has led me to do other things that no one thought was possible.  And it has led me to affect those around me in seemingly magical ways.

We have the power to affect any individual we meet.  Be your best.  Leave them with some hope.